Ready to go Home

There's an article that has been circulating recently about Steve Jobs and what his final words were. Reportedly, his last words were "Oh wow. Oh wow. Oh wow." What do you think he was talking about? I think he was getting a glimpse into heaven and was amazed by it. Check out the article here. With the recent passing of my Dad, seeing kids die in the PICU, and now hearing Steve Jobs' last words - I've really been thinking a lot about what it must be like to pass on to heaven.

My sister and I were there with my Dad. His blood pressure was really low towards the end, so he wasn't totally with it, but I do know that he was with it enough to answer yes and no questions by nodding or shaking his head. I don't know if any of you have read Heaven is For Real, but I highly recommend it. It's about a little boy who visited heaven for a short period of time while he was very sick. He couldn't have made the story up, he was only 3 or 4 when it happened. Anyway, I think my dad was probably seeing heaven even before he went. His eyes were closed, but I asked him if he was ready to go to heaven, and with his eyes still closed he immediately nodded his head yes. I didn't expect him to answer so quickly and to be ready so soon. I put it off for a while and didn't really say anything. I thought maybe he was just loopy from the sedatives he was given and the fact that his brain wasn't getting much blood due to the low blood pressures. My mom was able to talk to him on the phone one last time. She was to catch a flight back to Indy the next day, so she wasn't able to be with him in the hospital the night he passed. While he wasn't able to talk to her because of the breathing tube, I held the phone up to his ear. He was shaking his head no very adamantly about something she had said. Of course I couldn't ask him what she said, but I later asked her and she had told him to hold on and that she would be there the next day. He didn't want that, he was ready. Luckily, my mom and dad had had a very good conversation earlier that day. Part of me thinks he knew that that was his last day. He didn't even pack an overnight bag to stay in the hospital even though he was told he was going to be staying overnight. I asked him again shortly after that if he was ready to go to heaven and he emphatically shook his head yes. I told him he'd get to see his mom and dad, his in-laws, his brothers and some of his friends. I think he had already seen them waiting, along with the beautiful face of Jesus. I'm sure there was music and beautiful colors and lots of light. And I told him how we would miss him so and that he was the best father and that we didn't want him to leave us, but that we'd see him again. And like I said before, my sister and I said a prayer over him and asked the Lord to take him quickly and as soon as we said, "Amen," he went asystolic. I bet he ran to the light once he was able and we let him go. Even though he looked so tired once his soul had left his body, he looked at peace.

It's the same thing in the PICU. I swear to you that we've had kids die and after we bathe them and get their little bodies ready for the parents to hold them one last time, they look like they are smiling. Honest to goodness this is the truth! I think they are smiling. They are no longer in pain and in the most beautiful of places, nothing on earth can even compare to what it must be like. And obviously, their little souls have left their bodies, but I believe God puts a smile on their little shells to let us on Earth know that they are happy and they are home. It's like reassurance or something.

For those of you who don't know, my dad was blind in one eye. He went blind because an artery behind his eye became completely occluded. He never really complained about it, but would always joke about it - so we often forgot he was blind because his eyes didn't look different from one another. Anyway, my sister had a dream about my dad a month ago. She said it was short, and it was just him and he came up to her and said, "I can see out of both of my eyes now!" How awesome is that? I had a dream about him probably about 6 weeks after he died. In my dream I saw him from afar, and he looked healthy and much younger. He was wearing his football coaching gear he wore when he was head coach of Manual High School's football team. I always loved when he wore that outfit. I also think this is my Dad's way of telling us he is healthy and happy.

And while I miss him every single day, I am so happy that he is okay. I know he is. My faith gets me through this. I really don't know how people who do not have the promise of the Lord make it through times like these. And while I love my life on Earth, when it's my time to go home I am sure I will be saying, "Oh wow. Oh wow. Oh wow."