Are you Wearing Gloves?
As a nurse, I often wear gloves whenever touching my patients, both for their protection and for mine. However, I have noticed there are some times when gloves need to come off.
I had a patient in the PICU, quite some time ago now, who was going home on hospice. He was just a teen, dying of cancer. His grandma took care of him. We waited for transport to come pick him up to go home, for the last time. He had lung cancer so whenever he spoke he'd get very winded. He had to pull his oxygen mask down whenever he spoke in order for me to hear him, which of course made him even more winded. He kept his eyes closed most of the time, he was just so worn out.
As we were waiting for the transport team, I was just cleaning up his room, gathering his belongings, wearing my gloves. His grandma had already left to wait for him back in their hometown, so he was alone. He pulled down his mask while I was straightening up and said in a weak, hoarse voice, "I am not ready to die." I turned to look at him and asked him what he said, and he said it again. His eyes were still closed, but he wanted someone to know, someone to hear him. I don't know if he had ever told his grandma that. I sat on his bed and held his hand. He didn't say much else, but he felt the need to make sure someone knew he wasn't ready to go. He put his mask back on, but opened his eyes to look at me. He had a couple tears streaming down his cheeks. I felt so sorry for him. It wasn't fair. This young kid with so much life to live was going to die too young from an ugly, unforgiving disease. I can't imagine the feeling of struggling for each and every breath. I attempted to comfort him, rubbing his hand and just listening - even though nothing else was said. Then I realized I still had those dumb gloves on. So I took them off and threw them in the trash. Then I held his hand again. When I did this, he smiled. The gloves felt like a barrier. He's a person, I'm a person and at that moment in time, he just needed a person. Transport soon came and I told him good-bye and that he'd be in my prayers. He kept his eyes closed the whole time, saying nothing.
I often wonder if he's still on Earth or if he's home with the Lord. I'm thankful to him for letting me see how important it is to take the gloves off. I'm sure many of my RN friends have had similar instances where wearing gloves felt impersonal, cold, or distant. But the gloves serve as a metaphor. We have to remember that we're all human, and we all want the same basic things. Someone to listen, someone to love us, someone to be our friend. Take the gloves off. Get rid of the barrier. Let your walls down. You never know what someone is going through. And you never know when they will tell you their biggest secret. I'm so thankful I had the opportunity to realize that I've been wearing gloves many times. Protecting myself, not letting people see the real me. And often, when you remove your gloves, you can see the 'real' in every one else.
So just ask yourself this, are you going through life with gloves on?
I had a patient in the PICU, quite some time ago now, who was going home on hospice. He was just a teen, dying of cancer. His grandma took care of him. We waited for transport to come pick him up to go home, for the last time. He had lung cancer so whenever he spoke he'd get very winded. He had to pull his oxygen mask down whenever he spoke in order for me to hear him, which of course made him even more winded. He kept his eyes closed most of the time, he was just so worn out.
As we were waiting for the transport team, I was just cleaning up his room, gathering his belongings, wearing my gloves. His grandma had already left to wait for him back in their hometown, so he was alone. He pulled down his mask while I was straightening up and said in a weak, hoarse voice, "I am not ready to die." I turned to look at him and asked him what he said, and he said it again. His eyes were still closed, but he wanted someone to know, someone to hear him. I don't know if he had ever told his grandma that. I sat on his bed and held his hand. He didn't say much else, but he felt the need to make sure someone knew he wasn't ready to go. He put his mask back on, but opened his eyes to look at me. He had a couple tears streaming down his cheeks. I felt so sorry for him. It wasn't fair. This young kid with so much life to live was going to die too young from an ugly, unforgiving disease. I can't imagine the feeling of struggling for each and every breath. I attempted to comfort him, rubbing his hand and just listening - even though nothing else was said. Then I realized I still had those dumb gloves on. So I took them off and threw them in the trash. Then I held his hand again. When I did this, he smiled. The gloves felt like a barrier. He's a person, I'm a person and at that moment in time, he just needed a person. Transport soon came and I told him good-bye and that he'd be in my prayers. He kept his eyes closed the whole time, saying nothing.
I often wonder if he's still on Earth or if he's home with the Lord. I'm thankful to him for letting me see how important it is to take the gloves off. I'm sure many of my RN friends have had similar instances where wearing gloves felt impersonal, cold, or distant. But the gloves serve as a metaphor. We have to remember that we're all human, and we all want the same basic things. Someone to listen, someone to love us, someone to be our friend. Take the gloves off. Get rid of the barrier. Let your walls down. You never know what someone is going through. And you never know when they will tell you their biggest secret. I'm so thankful I had the opportunity to realize that I've been wearing gloves many times. Protecting myself, not letting people see the real me. And often, when you remove your gloves, you can see the 'real' in every one else.
So just ask yourself this, are you going through life with gloves on?
I really enjoy reading your posts! Thank you because this encouraged me as a future nurse and in other aspects of my life. :)
ReplyDelete