Ready to go Home

There's an article that has been circulating recently about Steve Jobs and what his final words were. Reportedly, his last words were "Oh wow. Oh wow. Oh wow." What do you think he was talking about? I think he was getting a glimpse into heaven and was amazed by it. Check out the article here. With the recent passing of my Dad, seeing kids die in the PICU, and now hearing Steve Jobs' last words - I've really been thinking a lot about what it must be like to pass on to heaven.

My sister and I were there with my Dad. His blood pressure was really low towards the end, so he wasn't totally with it, but I do know that he was with it enough to answer yes and no questions by nodding or shaking his head. I don't know if any of you have read Heaven is For Real, but I highly recommend it. It's about a little boy who visited heaven for a short period of time while he was very sick. He couldn't have made the story up, he was only 3 or 4 when it happened. Anyway, I think my dad was probably seeing heaven even before he went. His eyes were closed, but I asked him if he was ready to go to heaven, and with his eyes still closed he immediately nodded his head yes. I didn't expect him to answer so quickly and to be ready so soon. I put it off for a while and didn't really say anything. I thought maybe he was just loopy from the sedatives he was given and the fact that his brain wasn't getting much blood due to the low blood pressures. My mom was able to talk to him on the phone one last time. She was to catch a flight back to Indy the next day, so she wasn't able to be with him in the hospital the night he passed. While he wasn't able to talk to her because of the breathing tube, I held the phone up to his ear. He was shaking his head no very adamantly about something she had said. Of course I couldn't ask him what she said, but I later asked her and she had told him to hold on and that she would be there the next day. He didn't want that, he was ready. Luckily, my mom and dad had had a very good conversation earlier that day. Part of me thinks he knew that that was his last day. He didn't even pack an overnight bag to stay in the hospital even though he was told he was going to be staying overnight. I asked him again shortly after that if he was ready to go to heaven and he emphatically shook his head yes. I told him he'd get to see his mom and dad, his in-laws, his brothers and some of his friends. I think he had already seen them waiting, along with the beautiful face of Jesus. I'm sure there was music and beautiful colors and lots of light. And I told him how we would miss him so and that he was the best father and that we didn't want him to leave us, but that we'd see him again. And like I said before, my sister and I said a prayer over him and asked the Lord to take him quickly and as soon as we said, "Amen," he went asystolic. I bet he ran to the light once he was able and we let him go. Even though he looked so tired once his soul had left his body, he looked at peace.

It's the same thing in the PICU. I swear to you that we've had kids die and after we bathe them and get their little bodies ready for the parents to hold them one last time, they look like they are smiling. Honest to goodness this is the truth! I think they are smiling. They are no longer in pain and in the most beautiful of places, nothing on earth can even compare to what it must be like. And obviously, their little souls have left their bodies, but I believe God puts a smile on their little shells to let us on Earth know that they are happy and they are home. It's like reassurance or something.

For those of you who don't know, my dad was blind in one eye. He went blind because an artery behind his eye became completely occluded. He never really complained about it, but would always joke about it - so we often forgot he was blind because his eyes didn't look different from one another. Anyway, my sister had a dream about my dad a month ago. She said it was short, and it was just him and he came up to her and said, "I can see out of both of my eyes now!" How awesome is that? I had a dream about him probably about 6 weeks after he died. In my dream I saw him from afar, and he looked healthy and much younger. He was wearing his football coaching gear he wore when he was head coach of Manual High School's football team. I always loved when he wore that outfit. I also think this is my Dad's way of telling us he is healthy and happy.

And while I miss him every single day, I am so happy that he is okay. I know he is. My faith gets me through this. I really don't know how people who do not have the promise of the Lord make it through times like these. And while I love my life on Earth, when it's my time to go home I am sure I will be saying, "Oh wow. Oh wow. Oh wow."

South Carolina and Santa Claus

So here it is December 1st already. I've taken a little hiatus from blogging recently. But I'm back. Here's an update on what's been going on in my life.

My sister and I went to visit my mom in South Carolina the weekend before Thanksgiving. We had a great time just visiting, shopping, and eating. Eating out A LOT! My mom doesn't really get to go out to eat anymore since my dad passed away, so that's really all she wanted to do when we were there. Because who wants to go out to a restaurant by herself? My mom and dad would eat out all the time; I'm pretty sure that was their favorite thing to do. It always cracks me up though because my mom lives in SC with all these great local restaurants, and do you know where she wanted to eat when we were there? Olive Garden, Red Lobster, and Outback. She also really loves Steak 'n Shake, but they don't have those out there in SC. So of course when she comes back home for 2 weeks this month, we'll be making a trip to Steak 'n Shake for sure. I'm willing to do whatever makes her happy though. She's the best. And I'm amazed by her strength and courage through all of this. Even though she may be the one who suffered the greatest loss, she has still managed to comfort my sister and me a lot. Like I said, she's awesome.

I've recently found Pinterest.com and I love it. If you haven't joined, please do. It's neat because you can find ideas you like online and 'pin it' to your 'boards' so you can reference it later instead of having to print pages or anything like that. I've found a lot of recipes I want to try, along with pretty outfits, ideas for the home, and crafty stuff. Unfortunately, I really suck at crafts, so I get a little depressed when I see all these neat things people can make and then I think about how inept I am at making anything. I can bake, but I can't do much else. I could have never been an elementary school teacher, that's for sure.

I've gotten most of my Christmas shopping done - especially for the kids. Holla! However, with Addison's attitude lately, I'm not sure she'll be getting any presents. She went from 4 to 13 in a week. Talking back, disobeying, saying, "Whatever Mom." I really have no idea where she's getting it. The only shows she watches are on Nick Jr. or Disney movies - all of which I have watched and none of which have actual people - just animation. And Spongebob is not allowed in our house! So she must be picking this up somewhere else, I just got to figure out where. They always say she's so perfect at pre-school, so I don't know. I'm just getting worried. She's such a good girl, but I'm not sure where this rash of sass has come from. I just hope it goes soon because I can only threaten "Santa Clause is watching!" for a few more weeks. And don't worry, I do give her time outs. I'm definitely not one of those parents who has a child that suffers from No Discipline Syndrome. Not my kids. Never!

We went to see Santa last week and I think Camden may be scarred for life. I'm anal about my Santas and they must have a real beard. I don't want my kids suspecting anything too early. We stood in line and inched closer and closer to the front. Camden saw Santa from afar and noticed little kids sitting on Santa's lap. Then those kids got up, and the next kids sat on his lap. You could just see the little wheels spinning in his head. Like he knew this would also be his fate. Last year he was only 8 months old and he did just fine. This year, not so much. Once we put Cam on Santa's lap, Cam started screaming. Even Santa said, "Will you hurry and take the picture?" to the picture-taking lady. He was nice, I think he just thought the less he had to torture my child, the better. So the pic was snapped and Camden was off his lap in 1.2 seconds. Here's the finished product.

Then, of course, Addison had to tell Santa what she wanted. An Easy Bake Oven, a Rapunzel wig, and a make-up set. Sounds like she is on her way to being a made-up housewife! She seriously is in love with wearing her red wig. I have had so much bright red hair wrapped around the brushes of my Dyson. Now I'm going to have long blonde ones too. Oh joy. I never had an Easy Bake Oven, but I've been told they make disgusting food. That's going to be fun - yay. Gonna have to pull out my acting skills and my best, "Yum, that is delicious, Addi!" for her. You think I tease, but you know I will.

Mickey & Shamu

So last week our little family ventured out on our first family vacation! We've been on vacation before, but not just the four of us - we've always had a set of grandparents with us during previous trips. But this time, it was just us. We went to Orlando to visit Mickey Mouse and Shamu. Here's a recap of our week.

Saturday morning I had to wake up the kids at about 4:00 a.m. Why I scheduled our flight at 6:30 a.m. is still a mystery. I swear I don't remember doing that, but I must have because I did the same thing for our return flight. Anyway, I whispered to Addi as I knelt over her that today was the day we got to go to Florida. She had her eyes closed still, but smiled great big and then jumped out of bed. She has NEVER been so easy to get out of bed. So we got everyone packed up and got to the airport. We flew Continental on the way there, which was less than a pleasant experience. First they didn't give us seat assignments from Indy to Houston. Then they didn't even have us on the flight from Houston to Orlando. Ike told them they had better get us on board since we had booked it back in March. Well, they ended up getting us on the flight and all was right with the world, other than the fact that Continental doesn't even give you peanuts or pretzels without charging you for them. Geesh.

So we get to Orlando safely, and get to the rental car place. Enterprise was super great. They saw that we couldn't fit our bus stroller into the trunk, so they upgraded us to a small SUV at no extra cost! We also rented two carseats for the week, and due to liability, the driver has to install them. So poor Ike was installing the car seats while I corralled the children. I had to keep yelling at Addi to get down from the pole that she kept climbing and swinging from. It was one of those concrete poles that are used as barricades in parking lots or gas stations.

So we got to our condo and my mom really hooked us up. We stayed at a Bluegreen condo, called The Fountains. Two bedrooms, full kitchen, living room, screened in balcony. We went to Publix to pick up some groceries for the week. Then that night we hung out in the indoor pool and hot tub. It was nice to finally relax.

Sunday morning we got up to go to Sea World. I have a love/hate relationship with Sea World. I love seeing and petting the dolphins and whales, but I feel sad that they are in captivity. That being said, we had a great time seeing the dolphin show, Shamu show, and all the other animals. Some funny stuff happened while we were there. Addison and I went to pet and feed the dolphins, while Camden went with Ike to look at the sting rays. Here's some pictures of Addi and me with the dolphins.

Love this!

I love dolphins

Looks like they're having a conversation

 
Now here's the back story - Cam has an arm on him. I swear that boy is going to be a pitcher or quarterback someday. He has been taking his binky out of his mouth and whipping it across the room since he was 5 months old. And he does it without warning, he does it so fast that there's no way to stop it. Okay, back to the sting rays. So Ike was holding Cam above the sting ray tank when all of the sudden Cam whips his binky out of his mouth and throws it into the tank! It was a feeding tank, by the way. Luckily the torpedo binky didn't hit any innocent sting rays and they all swam down to the bottom. Ike thought quickly and reached out to grab the binky so no sting rays choked on it, or developed a pacifier habit. No sting rays were harmed in this story.

We then went to the dolphin show right after the sting ray incident. Camden decided to throw his shoe while we were there. He whipped it down a couple aisles and it hit a lady. Poor thing. Luckily she was nice and smiled as we apologized. Ike and I decided we are going to tape his binky to his face and his shoes to his feet.

Cam approximately 2.2 seconds before winging his shoe

Monday, we hung out at the resort pool and went to Downtown Disney for dinner that night. We went to T-Rex, which was neat, but Camden didn't like it one bit. There was a "meteor shower" every 15 minutes and the lights flickered, the dinosaurs roared, you get the drift. The food was pretty good. I just wish Camden would have liked it, and felt better. He ended up spiking a fever that night. Not only that, but we watched the news when we got home as Tuesday. We saw that the weather on Tuesday, our first Disney day, was to be a washout - 1 to 3 inches of rain! A tropical storm was headed towards Orlando. Go figure. We had to go on Tuesday because that was the day we had breakfast booked with the princesses at Cinderella's Royal Table and you had to have park admission. So we just decided we'd go, make the most of it, and probably leave early.

So Tuesday morning, we got up and got the kids ready. Addi was all set to go as Ariel. The skies looked ominous with the threat of storms. Addison also looked ominous as you can see below. I think she was mad because I didn't let her wear her red wig. More on that later.

Angry Ariel

Threaten to leave and look how quickly her attitude changed!

The breakfast was a lot of fun. Addi loved it and I think I had just as much fun as she did. Camden didn't seem to like any of the princesses, except for Ariel. He tried to get away from all of them, except for her. He watched her the whole time she was at our table. Maybe he's going to have a thing for redheads.

Trying to escape from Snow White

Apparently Aurora doesn't do it for him either

Wait, he's not trying to escape!

Love at first sight

Once we left the breakfast it was super cloudy, but not raining yet, so we decided to do as much as we could before the monsoon arrived. Well, it ended up completely missing us! We checked out the radar later that evening and it went right around Orlando. We got sprinkles a few times through the day, but that was it. I'm chalking that one up to my dad. I think he put in a good word with God for us. He was supposed to be there with us, and I think he still was, just in a different way than originally planned. Thanks Dad - we had a great time! Plus, I think the threat of the rain scared people away, so we had little to no lines all day. It was just perfect. Perfect and exhausting.

This is a random picture of Camden, but it makes me smile

Wednesday, we totally relaxed and did pretty much nothing. Needed some recovery time. Here's a super cute picture that totally shows how tired we were on Wednesday.

Sleepy time

Thursday was the day we had tickets to Mickey's Not So Scary Halloween Party at Magic Kingdom. We got to the park at 4:00 p.m., as this was the earliest we could get in without also paying for park admission. My sweet mom bought us tickets to the party and it was so fun! Thanks Mom - you're the best! We were able to get some more autographs and pictures before the festivities began at 7:00. Most importantly - Mickey & Minnie!

Waiting to meet the mice

Minnie poses like a Colts Cheerleader - she's got the toe pop down pat

All day Addi had been asking to put on her red wig. If you've read my previous blog about this wig, you'd know how much she loves it. I promised her after dinner we would put on her red wig. We also decided we'd get Cam ready after dinner too since he gets everything all over himself. So we finished dinner and got Cam ready. He was The Incredible Hulk. I kept calling him Hulk Hogan and Ike kept correcting me. Well, they both have the word Hulk in them. Close enough. We put Addison's wig on her, and it was like she transformed into another person. She walked differently, posed differently, acted differently. She had an alter ego. Hey wait, I think that's the same thing that happens to strippers when they put on wigs. Crap.

Who knew a wig could cause so much happiness?

Hulk Hogan The Incredible Hulk

 

Check out that pose

We stayed for the Villain's Show and the Boo-To-You Parade. It was so fun. The kids got pretty worn out, so we left around 9:30. Here's a favorite pic from earlier that day. I broke down and wore ears. It's amazing how you become brainwashed at Disney. But I loved it. Don't worry though, I won't be sporting Mickey Mouse shirts around town or anything.

We love Magic Kingdom

Friday we went to Sea World one more time for a few hours, then went to the Rainforest Cafe for dinner. It was so good and so fun! The kids were in great moods too, so that always helps make any experience more enjoyable. We asked Addison what her favorite part of the week was and she said, "Just being with you and Daddy and Camden." It was so sweet - and I really think she meant it! However, earlier in the week I asked her the same thing and she responded, "The donuts!" So who knows?

Saturday we had to leave early and come back to Indiana. None of us wanted to come home. We would have missed our flight since the line at Delta was ridiculous. Luckily a worker lady asked if anyone was close to the 45 minute cut off for luggage drop off and we were so we got pulled out of line and sent on our way. Thank goodness. As much as we wanted to stay, we didn't want to stay in the Orlando airport.

We had a wonderful time and cannot wait to go back!!

A Favorite from my Hubby's Blog

From August 2010.

Having two kids is not that far from living back in the fraternity house

I have been blessed with two beautiful kids — two kids who are already throwing me back to the days of Delta Tau Delta at Ball State.


There is always a body function happening. At first there is the innocent and often, “I can’t control my gas” infant stage. People laugh and think it is cute because it is a baby. This is not the case when a guy, nicknamed “Dirt”, breaks wind after drinking malt liquor all night and eating a burrito the size of your head.


Spitting up is so common I now have no sense of smell or a desire to eat. I have a burp cloth on my body at all times because I never know when Mt. Cam will erupt and spew whatever he just ate all over the place. In the fraternity house the only thing funny about spewing was the occasional dry heave. I still don’t why that is funny. Maybe the eyes welling up with tears or the fact I always think of Jim Carey.


Streaking. Yes, sometimes it is nice to set yourself free. My three year old finds great delight in streaking around the house after a bath. You can see the sheer joy of being clothes- and worry-free on her face. This look was also found many a night when someone would casually walk through the house sans pants, sit down on your couch, and act as if this was normal. Thank you creator of the slipcover.


Nose picking is an Olympic sport. I guess until now I thought the nose pick was merely done out of necessity. Nope. I am not sure what the fascination is with having your finger two knuckles into your nose, but the kids dig it. Yes, pun intended. I am worried more about them being able to hide a grapefruit in their nostril than do it in public. And at the old Delt house you had guys who were the Michael Phelps of nose picking. After each victory they always wanted to show you their medals. Remember the dry heave part? My eyes are still watering.


Being tired is the norm. I am up at all hours, I don’t ever feel like I sleep through a whole night, and when I am up, I have to be on. There is always something to clean up (see above), someone to entertain, and someone getting into something they shouldn’t. Hmmm…this one didn’t change.


Time for me to go, I think someone just made his underwear into a headband.


Check out more at www.theike.wordpress.com

Lions, Cows, and Pumpkins. . . Oh My!

Another week down. Some fun things happened this week. Addi got her Halloween costume all set for the Mickey's Not So Scary Halloween Party at Disney World. She is going to be Ariel, the Little Mermaid. She has the dress, the wand, the shoes, and the wig. A long red stringy wig. She absolutely loves the wig and wants to wear it all the time. I hope she never finds out that strippers wear wigs a lot. Maybe I'll inform her that actresses get to wear wigs before she finds out about strippers. Yep, that sounds like a good plan. Whenever she sees a picture of Katy Perry in her blue wig on my iPhone/iTunes she always says, "She's so pretty with her blue hair." I'm getting a little worried about her teenage years already.

Cam saw Addi in her get-up and decided he wanted to play too. He grabbed a tiara and a wand so he could be like his sister. Notice he's holding the wand upside down. He hasn't taken Princess 101 yet. Again, notice the stringy red wig. This picture is much more true to the actual look of the dead animal wig.

We're still trying to figure out what Cam is going to be. Ike doesn't want him to be anything too "babyish." I keep informing my hubby that Cam is indeed still a baby. I want him to be something cute like a cowboy or sock monkey or something like that, something he won't want to be when he gets to choose. Ike wants him to be Spiderman or Buzz Lightyear. Maybe we'll go with Addi's idea of him being Flounder. Ariel does need Flounder or Sebastian, right?

We had dinner with some family from Pennsylvania on Friday night. They were in town for the Penn State game. Cam was being pretty cranky and didn't want to eat anything. That boy loves an audience though. He can turn on the charm like he's turning on a faucet. Well, maybe that's a stretch because he's only 17 months and can't turn on a faucet yet. But you know what I mean. I posted a picture of him. Notice how they put us in the far back corner. It was well deserved since Cam started throwing his unwanted food within minutes of getting there. Doesn't he just look ornery?

Addi got to go to her first Penn State game Saturday with Ike. It was at IU. I stayed at home all day with Cam. But we all met up after the game. Addi got to meet the Nittany Lion at the game. I asked her to show me the picture that Grammy took of her with the lion and she said, "Ok, but I got one with the cow too." I had no clue what she was talking about because IU's mascot is the Hoosiers, not the Cows. I found out she got her picture with the Chick-Fil-A Cow which apparently is just as exciting as the PSU Nittany Lion.

Chick-fil-A Cow

Penn State Nittany Lion

We also made our annual trip to the pumpkin patch on Sunday. We had fun, went with my sister and her boys. I got my elephant ear fix. Not helping with my anxiety about being in a bikini in a few months, but my soul needed it. I feel like everyone is entitled to at least one funnel cake or elephant ear a year and since Ike won't go with me to the Indiana State Fair, this was my only chance to fill my quota. Addi picked out two little pumpkins, one for herself and one for Camden. Ike and I will just get some at the store that we can carve. It's too hard to lug around two children and two giant pumpkins.

On the Hay Ride out to the Pumpkin Patch. Cam sure looks comfy, huh?

Searching for the perfect pumpkin

Pumpkins by the truckload

I found my two pumpkins!

Hey, hey, HAY!

Mi Familia

Seriously, when do I get my elephant ear?

After the pumpkin patch we had to run to our favorite spot, Super Target. And no, we didn't get dinner there. . .this time. However, Cam did sing a song with both fingers in his nostrils in the car on the way there. I posted a lovely pic that I'm sure will be wonderful blackmail someday. Enjoy!

Mickey Mouse and Mexico

There are two things causing me great stress right now. Number one, we are going to Disney World in three weeks. Number two, I have to wear a bikini in front of college friends in February.

So, we're taking the family to WDW mid-October. I haven't been since I was two, so obviously I don't remember any of it. I know it is supposed to be the most magical place on earth. So far, I've found it to be the most stress-filled and most expensive place on earth and we're not even there yet. We are only going to go to Magic Kingdom two days. We'll be in Orlando for the week, but aren't going to drag two little kids to the park everyday. I don't think that would be enjoyable for any of us. We're having breakfast with the princesses one morning, and staying late another night for the Not So Scary Halloween Party.

The reason I'm so stressed is because there is so much to prepare. I have no idea where to go once we're in the park. I realize they have maps, but if you know me, you know I like to be prepared. I was always the annoying one in high school and college who planned all the spring breaks and knew exactly where and when we needed to be somewhere. Yes, I'm that girl. Do I bring my stroller or rent one? Do I bring all of Addison's princess outfits? Do I take my big camera or just use my iPhone? Do we need to pack extra clothes? What if the kids cry the whole time because they're hot or tired?

Gosh I sound like a whiner. Sorry. I just feel like I need some guidance. And yes, I realize there are much bigger problems in the world than this. I just want it to be a great experience for everyone and I feel like if I plan everything well enough it will be. I think I'm also a little sad because my mom and dad were supposed to be coming with us on this trip and my mom just isn't ready for a vacation quite yet. So it's a little bittersweet. So if you have been to Magic Kingdom, please help a sista out and give me some input! I realize it's pointless to worry about such silly things, but it's part of who I am. Maybe I should just get on some major anti-anxiety medications or start drinking heavily.

Number two - the much bigger problem - Ike and I are going to Mexico for a wedding in February. One of my best friend's/former roommate is getting married there. I wouldn't miss it for the world. She's a beautiful actress living in LA. She is a friend from college, a very fit friend from college, a very fit friend from college who hasn't had her body remodeled by the art of childbearing. A few other people from college will also be there. We'll be there for several days before and after the wedding, and we're all staying in the same place. It's going to be super fun, but I'm getting very stressed about having to get into my bikini in front of all these people I know.

Last time they saw me in a bikini, I was in my 20's, a Colts Cheerleader, and had nothing to do other than workout and go to class. Now, I'm in my 30's, have delivered two babies, and have no time to work out. I bounced back quickly after having Addison, but after Camden, things didn't go back so quickly. It's like gravity got ahold of everything and hasn't let go yet. When I realized that I'm actually going to be seen in a bikini by my fellow BSU alum, I felt my heart sink. It was like the feeling you get when you're told you have to speak in front of an audience. Lump in throat, butterflies in belly, nausea, sweaty hands - you get my drift, unless you're one of those weird people who enjoys public speaking.

So, I've decided that I am going to start working out a little - hopefully at least 3 times per week. But I'm not going to start until after Disney. I've got to mentally prepare myself. You know, build up to it. I don't enjoy working out. . . at all. I have started eating better recently. If you read my previous blog, you already know that - sorry for the redundancy. The holidays are going to be super hard this year. I can eat my weight in sugar between Halloween and Christmas. Why oh why can't this trip be with fried-chicken-loving, working mothers with several children, who also have no time for themselves?

I'm going to end up a heavily medicated anorexic by the time this year is over. But hey, at least I'll be relaxed and skinny.

I Love the Target Cafe

Sunday morning I had brunch with some of my best girlfriends from college. We had some great laughs like we always do. I even saved one of my friends from eating what looked to be a black pubic hair in her sausage gravy. If you've read any of my previous blogs, you know I have a fear of hair in my food and will search before eating. Apparently, I have even started to study my friends' food. But hey, I did save her from having to pull a pube out of her teeth like floss, huh? I am pretty darn loyal if I do say so myself.

Back to the subject. One of my friend's has a son who started Kindergarten this year. We were talking about waiting at the bus stop, field trips, and PTO. It took me a minute to figure out what PTO was because at work it means "Paid Time Off." I forgot that it also means "Parent/Teacher Organization." At least, I think that's what it means. Anyway, we were laughing because we were talking about how much our lives have changed. There's no way when we were juniors at Ball State we thought we'd be having brunch and talking about PTO. Our main concern then was which black pants we were going to wear out to Dill Street. Oh and having enough time to pre-party - which meant drinking your cocktails while showering and drying your hair. My my have times have changed. We agreed that we're going to have to start playing Bunco.

I've had several moments over the past years that I couldn't have imagined myself doing even 5 years ago. As of this summer, I have had lunch at Target at the little Target Cafe. If you would have told me 5 years ago that I would have been eating lunch there with my kids in the future, I would have laughed at you. However, nowadays I find myself at the Target Cafe nearly once a week having a rather enjoyable lunch with my kids before shopping my brains out. I've actually had lunch dates there. I know, this is getting worse by the minute. We were there today in fact. I looked around and saw three other moms with their kids there, so I didn't feel so bad. It's cheap and convenient, so it works. I never said I was a high roller. I do think I may have to invest in some high-waisted, unflattering-to-the-butt Mom jeans soon. Or a mini-van with the decal of my entire stick family and stick pets. I am kidding. If this ever happens, please just shoot me and put me out of my misery. I don't want to live like that.

Ike and I have gotten used to eating macaroni and cheese, pizza, and other kid staples for every meal. We add fruits and vegetables, but the main course is usually something the kids will like. I can make Kraft mac & cheese from the box and Addi will say, "Mommy, you're the best cooker. You should work at a restaurant." I love naivety. I had the bright idea of trying to reintroduce the kids to more healthful main courses. Kid-friendly foods aren't healthy, nor are they good for the waistline after a while. I made vegetable stir fry on Saturday night. Cam didn't eat anything other than the peas and rice. Addi did okay, but didn't eat much more than Cam. Then tonight I tried falafel. Yes, I know. What was I thinking? Most adults don't even like falafel, why did I think a 17 month old and a 4 year old would like it? At least both of them tried it, but both spit it out. So what did I do you ask? I ended up making them both peanut butter and jelly. FAIL. Ike and I ate the falafel and are now currently in falafel comas. We've met our falafel quota for the year. And I think I've said the word falafel 8,000 times. I'll stop now.

One year at Ball State, I was named "Best Dressed" in my sorority. Hooty Hoot, shout out to my Chi Omega Sisters. Nowadays, not so much. I have looked at my wardrobe and nearly cried. Granted, I wear scrubs to work, so I'm not too worried about my wardrobe three days a week. Then I look at the kids' closets and then I remember why I have no clothes. When I try to go shopping for myself, I find myself in the kids' section. It's like the gigantic magnetic force that attracts me to it. It's uncontrollable. I know lots of moms who suffer from this same problem. Remember those Mom jeans I talked about earlier? Well, I'll never have them because I don't buy anything for myself anyway, so please stop worrying.

One thing I never thought I'd have to give up is singing in the car. It's my safe place to belt out my tunes. I don't even sing in the shower, unless no one is home. I realize I am not blessed in this area. But I figured it would still be okay to sing in the car when my kids were in there. I was wrong. Today I was singing to The Band Perry's If I Die Young and Addison said, "Mommy please stop singing. It doesn't sound so good." She's said things like this to me before about my singing, but today I thought I was singing quietly. Apparently when you are so off key, it doesn't matter how quietly you're singing.  Thanks, Addi. I'm well aware now.

I could go on and on about how things have changed and things I never thought I'd do 10 years ago are my reality today. The lunches at Target, the meals I cook that are denied by my kids, my lacking wardrobe, etc.  I think any parent will tell you that they do things they never thought they would because of and for their kids. And though life is so completely different than I ever thought it would be, I wouldn't change a thing. I've got my sweet little family and I love all our little quirks. It's perfection in my eyes. Oh, and if anyone wants to have a lunch date at Target, let me know. . .