Lil' Miss Kindergarten

So Addison has been in Kindergarten for just about 2.5 weeks now. There's been ups and there's been downs. Lemme recap.

Ike and I went to Meet the Teacher night about a week before school started. Addison has Mrs. Turner, who is just a sticky ball of happiness. In fact, our neighbor told us she thinks birds and mice get Mrs. Turner ready in the morning - just like sweet Cinderella. Oh Lord. I have to admit I was pretty jealous of Mrs. Turner. I knew she would be seeing my daughter more than me. That's a hard feeling to take. Even though I work three days a week, I still had both my kids with me the other 4 days a week. Now I feel like I only see Addison on the weekends. It has really been an adjustment. Anyway, Mrs. Turner highly encouraged us to promote independence and to let our children ride the bus. Addison really wanted to ride the bus from the get-go, but I was reluctant, as was Ike. I remember learning and seeing too much on the bus. And that was back in the late 80's, early 90's. I can't even imagine what it's like now.

Addi & her BFF are in the same Kindergarten class. - This pic is from Ice Cream Social Night

So August 15th came. The day before I went to the store to prepare for the day. I bought myself a bottle of wine and some chocolate covered donuts to ease the pain I knew I'd feel that day, as I had been dreading it since she was 3 months old. I remember holding my then 3 month old baby girl and looking out the window in August of 2007 watching all the kids get on the bus for their first day of school. I remember watching the moms and dads taking pictures and wiping tears away. I watched all this from her nursery window, just bawling, dreading the day I'd have to send my baby away. I would no longer be able to protect her all the time. That thought just killed me in 2007, but here I am dealing with it now in 2012. That day in 2007 feels like just yesterday. I can't believe it was 5 years ago.

I got up early to pack Addison's lunch and prepare myself for the day. I woke Addison up around 7:30 by whispering, "Addison, today's your first day of Kindergarten." Well she popped right up outta bed like it was Christmas Day with a big grin on her face. That excitement of getting woken up everyday has already worn off though. Anyway, I got her all ready, fed her some breakfast, and started to take pictures. Of course I had found a cute idea to make a chalkboard sign from Pinterest. See below. I went the cheap route and found some black cardboard and luckily chalk worked on it. So I was my typical self and took 8,562 pictures.

My little poser

Cam looks so ornery here.

Kindergarten is here

We walked down the street to the bus stop. Our neighbors were there to greet us. They had a table out filled with breakfast items, but Addi had already eaten. Of course she took a few donut holes though. That girl can chow down on some donuts. I wonder where she gets that? Hmm. Anyway, I took a few more pictures and some video at the same time - I am very talented. The bus came and this is when I pretty much lost it. Addison looked so tiny compared to that giant bus. Her book bag was bigger than her little bitty body. All the neighbor kids seemed so much bigger than her. She took the first step onto the bus and I started bawling. This was her first step into her next chapter of life. She'll be in school until at least 2025 when she graduates. And I have faith after that she'll go to college. So for the next 17 - 18 years my daughter will be in school. I'm jealous of all that time she won't be with me. I want to always be the one she turns to. I want to always be the one she looks up to. I want to be her biggest influence. I want to be the one to teach her about love. And life. And while I will always be there for her and I will always be a big influence on her, there will be a lot of times where she may not think of me as the most important person in her life. That's hard to accept. But it's part of life and we've all been there. I just hope she always knows her how much I love and adore her.

This is when the waterworks started

So back to the story, I broke down once she got on the bus. We started to walk back home, with me carrying Cam. I held Camden tight and hugged and kissed him - like I was willing him to stay my baby forever. Ike had his sunglasses on, but I'm sure he was a little teary-eyed. Our baby girl is growing up. Of course I got in my car and followed the school bus to the elementary school because that's how I roll. I got some more pictures of Addison walking into school. She made one last turn to wave to us before walking in the building. I cried again and went home to comfort myself with the wine and donuts and I think I hugged and kissed Camden more than ever before. He kept saying, "No Mommy, no kiss me!"

One last wave

 That day felt like an eternity. Her bus doesn't drop her off until about 10 til 4. I felt like I watched the clock all day long. The wine and donuts did indeed help me chill though. Though I was out of it by 2:00. Mission accomplished. Cam and I walked to the bus stop and once the bus came, Addi came running down to us smiling great big. She loved her first day!

First day was so much fun!

The Friday of her first week I was at work until 7:30. Ike texted me and told me that Addi had chewed a large hole in her leggings. My child has turned into a moth. Ike said it was a little bigger than the diameter of a quarter. What? How? Why? were my questions. I wanted so badly to find out if something was upsetting her or what. Ike said she said she didn't know why she did it. She hasn't been very good at telling us about her day, even though we ask her 20 questions. So of course I was worried something bad happened. I texted my mom and she came to the rescue. She went to pick up Addi and took her to Steak 'n Shake and SuperTarget. My mom said they had the best time and Addi kept telling her how much she loves Kindergarten. My mom asked her if there was anything she didn't like about it and Addi told her no. My mom asked her why she chewed a hole in her leggings and she just said that she was nervous. Guess she's going to be like me. A nervous nelly. Luckily there's medication for that. She's also been having more frequent nightmares and of course, she's been really tired in the evenings - leading to crankiness and crying. Oh joy.

Overall though, it's been okay. It's still an adjustment and I hate that I don't get to be with her nearly as much as I want or as I used to be, but I realize this is how it's supposed to be and thousands of other parents are going through this too. I just don't know where the time has gone. I want to get it back, but I can't. I want to hold that little 3 month old baby girl in my arms again, but I can't. It's awesome seeing her grow up, but it's sad too. And I'm sure I'll be even sadder, but so proud the day my Lil' Miss Kindergarten becomes Lil Miss College Graduate. I'm sure that day will be here before I know it, just like her first day of Kindergarten was. In the meantime though, I'm just going to enjoy the next few chapters of this beautiful story.