It's Already Started?

The other day Addison came home from cheerleading practice and told me a story that made me angry and sad all at the same time.

Keep in mind, she's only 4. Ike had taken her to practice. We take turns going with her since we both like to watch her practice and learn new things. Anyway, she told me that her coaches had changed around some of their routine. The Tiny Terriers, Addi's squad and all of the teams, have their recital aka "The Dawg Show" this weekend. So Addison proceeds to tell me about her new part at the end where she gets to do a forward roll and a cartwheel or something like that and then does an ending pose. So at the end of the routine she's by a little girl whose name I haven't heard before. She tells me that she was trying to talk to this little girl and the little girl kicked Addi and said she didn't want to talk to her because Addi doesn't have her back-walkover. Are you effing kidding me? Addi was sad about it. Not only did the girl kick her, but also insulted her because she doesn't have a tumbling move. I am planning on emailing Addison's coach about it just so she's aware of what's going on. Yes, I'm going to be that parent.

I didn't think this sort of thing would happen until at least 2nd or 3rd grade. The main thing I'm upset about is the fact that the girl kicked her. Do parents not teach their kids to keep their hands and feet to themselves anymore? I realize that kids do this sort of stuff, but this girl is at least 5, if not 6. She's obviously already in school and I can't imagine she kicks kids in her school. But who knows? Kids bring guns to school nowadays.

I remember holding Addi for the first time and thinking I would hurt anyone who hurt her. Now of course I'm not going to hurt this child, but wow am I disappointed in the lack of parenting this girl must have. I don't think it would do any good to go to the girl's mother. I don't want to be the type of parent who is always telling the teachers/coaches about other kids, but I'll be damned if I'm going to let my daughter be kicked or hit without doing anything about it. And I know many will disagree with this statement, and I know violence begets violence, but I told Addison if she ever is in a situation that she can't get out of and she doesn't find anyone to help her - to fight back.

I didn't tell her this but I feel like "narcs" get the crap beat out of them, but kids who fight back don't get picked on as much. I remember getting pushed down a huge flight of stairs in high school by a couple older girls. I so badly wish I would have just fought back when I look back at the situation now. I never wanted to cause any drama though. Always wanted to be friends with everyone. However, I think other girls saw how I let that happen and didn't do anything to help myself, and so they started to pick on me too. I became an easy target.

I think Addi is the same in that she wants to be friends with everyone. But I want her to stand up for herself more than I stood up for myself. I don't want her to be a fighter or anything, and I know she won't be - it's just not her nature, but I do want her to be able to protect herself when it's needed. Ike wants to get her in Tae Kwon Do and I think we will soon. I know kids have always been mean like this, but I never remember it starting this young.

It's hard not to worry about the things my kids are going to face in school, and in life in general. Of course I want my kids to be witty and smart and try to talk things out, but there are so many ignorant people in the world that don't know how to do that and just resort to violence. So I'll prepare my kids for both types of people. That's all I can do as a mother. I wish I could protect them from every unkind word, every insult, everything that hurts - but that is not possible. It is just sad that my four year old is already experiencing this type of hurt. And when she hurts, I hurt.