Ready to go Home

There's an article that has been circulating recently about Steve Jobs and what his final words were. Reportedly, his last words were "Oh wow. Oh wow. Oh wow." What do you think he was talking about? I think he was getting a glimpse into heaven and was amazed by it. Check out the article here. With the recent passing of my Dad, seeing kids die in the PICU, and now hearing Steve Jobs' last words - I've really been thinking a lot about what it must be like to pass on to heaven.

My sister and I were there with my Dad. His blood pressure was really low towards the end, so he wasn't totally with it, but I do know that he was with it enough to answer yes and no questions by nodding or shaking his head. I don't know if any of you have read Heaven is For Real, but I highly recommend it. It's about a little boy who visited heaven for a short period of time while he was very sick. He couldn't have made the story up, he was only 3 or 4 when it happened. Anyway, I think my dad was probably seeing heaven even before he went. His eyes were closed, but I asked him if he was ready to go to heaven, and with his eyes still closed he immediately nodded his head yes. I didn't expect him to answer so quickly and to be ready so soon. I put it off for a while and didn't really say anything. I thought maybe he was just loopy from the sedatives he was given and the fact that his brain wasn't getting much blood due to the low blood pressures. My mom was able to talk to him on the phone one last time. She was to catch a flight back to Indy the next day, so she wasn't able to be with him in the hospital the night he passed. While he wasn't able to talk to her because of the breathing tube, I held the phone up to his ear. He was shaking his head no very adamantly about something she had said. Of course I couldn't ask him what she said, but I later asked her and she had told him to hold on and that she would be there the next day. He didn't want that, he was ready. Luckily, my mom and dad had had a very good conversation earlier that day. Part of me thinks he knew that that was his last day. He didn't even pack an overnight bag to stay in the hospital even though he was told he was going to be staying overnight. I asked him again shortly after that if he was ready to go to heaven and he emphatically shook his head yes. I told him he'd get to see his mom and dad, his in-laws, his brothers and some of his friends. I think he had already seen them waiting, along with the beautiful face of Jesus. I'm sure there was music and beautiful colors and lots of light. And I told him how we would miss him so and that he was the best father and that we didn't want him to leave us, but that we'd see him again. And like I said before, my sister and I said a prayer over him and asked the Lord to take him quickly and as soon as we said, "Amen," he went asystolic. I bet he ran to the light once he was able and we let him go. Even though he looked so tired once his soul had left his body, he looked at peace.

It's the same thing in the PICU. I swear to you that we've had kids die and after we bathe them and get their little bodies ready for the parents to hold them one last time, they look like they are smiling. Honest to goodness this is the truth! I think they are smiling. They are no longer in pain and in the most beautiful of places, nothing on earth can even compare to what it must be like. And obviously, their little souls have left their bodies, but I believe God puts a smile on their little shells to let us on Earth know that they are happy and they are home. It's like reassurance or something.

For those of you who don't know, my dad was blind in one eye. He went blind because an artery behind his eye became completely occluded. He never really complained about it, but would always joke about it - so we often forgot he was blind because his eyes didn't look different from one another. Anyway, my sister had a dream about my dad a month ago. She said it was short, and it was just him and he came up to her and said, "I can see out of both of my eyes now!" How awesome is that? I had a dream about him probably about 6 weeks after he died. In my dream I saw him from afar, and he looked healthy and much younger. He was wearing his football coaching gear he wore when he was head coach of Manual High School's football team. I always loved when he wore that outfit. I also think this is my Dad's way of telling us he is healthy and happy.

And while I miss him every single day, I am so happy that he is okay. I know he is. My faith gets me through this. I really don't know how people who do not have the promise of the Lord make it through times like these. And while I love my life on Earth, when it's my time to go home I am sure I will be saying, "Oh wow. Oh wow. Oh wow."

South Carolina and Santa Claus

So here it is December 1st already. I've taken a little hiatus from blogging recently. But I'm back. Here's an update on what's been going on in my life.

My sister and I went to visit my mom in South Carolina the weekend before Thanksgiving. We had a great time just visiting, shopping, and eating. Eating out A LOT! My mom doesn't really get to go out to eat anymore since my dad passed away, so that's really all she wanted to do when we were there. Because who wants to go out to a restaurant by herself? My mom and dad would eat out all the time; I'm pretty sure that was their favorite thing to do. It always cracks me up though because my mom lives in SC with all these great local restaurants, and do you know where she wanted to eat when we were there? Olive Garden, Red Lobster, and Outback. She also really loves Steak 'n Shake, but they don't have those out there in SC. So of course when she comes back home for 2 weeks this month, we'll be making a trip to Steak 'n Shake for sure. I'm willing to do whatever makes her happy though. She's the best. And I'm amazed by her strength and courage through all of this. Even though she may be the one who suffered the greatest loss, she has still managed to comfort my sister and me a lot. Like I said, she's awesome.

I've recently found Pinterest.com and I love it. If you haven't joined, please do. It's neat because you can find ideas you like online and 'pin it' to your 'boards' so you can reference it later instead of having to print pages or anything like that. I've found a lot of recipes I want to try, along with pretty outfits, ideas for the home, and crafty stuff. Unfortunately, I really suck at crafts, so I get a little depressed when I see all these neat things people can make and then I think about how inept I am at making anything. I can bake, but I can't do much else. I could have never been an elementary school teacher, that's for sure.

I've gotten most of my Christmas shopping done - especially for the kids. Holla! However, with Addison's attitude lately, I'm not sure she'll be getting any presents. She went from 4 to 13 in a week. Talking back, disobeying, saying, "Whatever Mom." I really have no idea where she's getting it. The only shows she watches are on Nick Jr. or Disney movies - all of which I have watched and none of which have actual people - just animation. And Spongebob is not allowed in our house! So she must be picking this up somewhere else, I just got to figure out where. They always say she's so perfect at pre-school, so I don't know. I'm just getting worried. She's such a good girl, but I'm not sure where this rash of sass has come from. I just hope it goes soon because I can only threaten "Santa Clause is watching!" for a few more weeks. And don't worry, I do give her time outs. I'm definitely not one of those parents who has a child that suffers from No Discipline Syndrome. Not my kids. Never!

We went to see Santa last week and I think Camden may be scarred for life. I'm anal about my Santas and they must have a real beard. I don't want my kids suspecting anything too early. We stood in line and inched closer and closer to the front. Camden saw Santa from afar and noticed little kids sitting on Santa's lap. Then those kids got up, and the next kids sat on his lap. You could just see the little wheels spinning in his head. Like he knew this would also be his fate. Last year he was only 8 months old and he did just fine. This year, not so much. Once we put Cam on Santa's lap, Cam started screaming. Even Santa said, "Will you hurry and take the picture?" to the picture-taking lady. He was nice, I think he just thought the less he had to torture my child, the better. So the pic was snapped and Camden was off his lap in 1.2 seconds. Here's the finished product.

Then, of course, Addison had to tell Santa what she wanted. An Easy Bake Oven, a Rapunzel wig, and a make-up set. Sounds like she is on her way to being a made-up housewife! She seriously is in love with wearing her red wig. I have had so much bright red hair wrapped around the brushes of my Dyson. Now I'm going to have long blonde ones too. Oh joy. I never had an Easy Bake Oven, but I've been told they make disgusting food. That's going to be fun - yay. Gonna have to pull out my acting skills and my best, "Yum, that is delicious, Addi!" for her. You think I tease, but you know I will.