Until We Meet Again Dad. . .

My dad passed away this morning at 1:33 a.m. We went in for a blood transfusion yesterday evening, per his doctor, because of low hemoglobin and ended up intubated and on pressors to keep his blood pressure up in the ICU. Blood tests revealed he had kidney failure, along with all his other, already known, heart problems. I won't get into too many details, but it happened fast, very fast. In the ER around 5:30 p.m., ICU by 8:30 and off to heaven 5 hours later. I am so thankful that I was at his bedside as he passed. I have no doubt he is now in heaven, free from chest pain, running and playing football and spending time with his loved ones who've passed before him.

I am so grateful that I was able to say the things I needed to say to him. Often, we hold back and don't tell those we love how much they mean to us and the difference they've made in our lives. For those of you who didn't have the privilege of knowing my father, and even for those of you who did, let me tell you a little bit about him and what he means to me. I'm not really the type to share things so personal. But I felt compelled to share this with you.

Once he was intubated, I went into his ICU room, held his hand and told him I was there. He opened his eyes, and though he couldn't speak because of the breathing tube, his eyes said everything. He had a tear in his right eye and it was heart breaking. I told my dad that he was my hero. He made me the person I am today. I am compassionate and caring, just like him. I am a worrier and sensitive, just like him. I have a brown eyes and a dimple in my chin, just like him. I told him him he was a fighter. After all, he's had coronary artery disease since his mid 30's. He fought to the end. He was trying to pull the breathing tube out the whole time. He was so stubborn. But I loved that about him.

My dad was a retired English teacher and high school football coach. My dad was a hard worker. One of his favorite sayings was, "Don't ever let anyone out-work you." And he sacrificed constantly for us. He would teach during the day, then night school and summer school and even worked for a few months as a delivery guy for Pizza Hut just so his girls could have dance & cheerleading lessons. He did that for us. I remember being so embarrassed that he delivered pizzas for a while. But now I want everyone to know that that is the kind of man my dad was. He didn't care what others thought, he just cared about his family. I told him thank you for this. Thanks for teaching me how to be a hard worker and to always put family first just as he always did.

My dad was the kind of man who moved back to Indy from SC where my mom works for a whole year to watch my son two days a week so he didn't have to be in daycare. We never asked him to do that, he just did. He wanted to. Always wanted to help whenever he could. Luckily, he was back with my mom in SC for a few months before he drove back to Indy on Father's Day to escape the SC summer heat & humidity.

My dad was the kind of man who was at every softball game, every dance practice, every cheerleading competition. He coached our powder puff team in high school every year and loved it. Even though he had 4 daughters, he still found a way to coach us in football! He loved football. I will miss going to the Colts games with him. I will miss boating with him. He taught me how to waterski. We spent just about every weekend at the lake when I was little. Those are some of my most favorite memories.

I am going to miss getting texts from him and sending him videos of the kids waiting for his response. I am going to miss calling him on the phone and him saying, "Hello Nurse Jill!" because that's how he had me programmed in his cell phone. He was so proud of me being a nurse. He told everyone. He also told everyone I was a Colts Cheerleader much to my dismay. He was a proud father.

But now I'm the proud daughter. I am proud that Dennis Jackson is my father. I am proud of the man he was. I am proud of the husband he was to my mom. He passed one day short of their 35th wedding anniversary. I am proud of the grandfather he was to my kids. He adored them, and they adored their Pa. I'm so happy Camden has Pa's smiley eyes. Whenever they smile their eyes disappear. I will forever see my dad's eyes in Camden. I am grateful for that.

The nurses pulled out the breathing tube because he was trying to pull it out himself. I told you he was stubborn. He was still on the medication to keep his blood pressure up at this point. However, with three medications maxed out, it still wasn't working. He was very confused because his blood pressure was so low. The medications were turned off because they were not helping. We didn't want him to suffer anymore. He was tired. The fight was over. We continued to tell him how much we loved him and what a great father he was. We watched him take his last breaths. Then we prayed over him and asked the Lord to take him quickly. As soon as we said, "Amen," his heart stopped. 1:33 a.m. June 25, 2011.

I take comfort in the fact that my dad was a Christian. I am certain he got quite a welcome into Heaven this morning. He is now with the Lord. And I will not say goodbye. I will say, "Until we meet again." I can't wait to see you again dad. Thank you for all the lessons you taught me about life, love, and family. Thank you for always being there to support me in every thing I did. Thank you for being a shoulder to cry on when I needed you. Thank you for teaching me what a good husband is. I see all of the qualities you had in Ike. Thank you for always caring for Addison and Camden with all your heart. Thank you for all you've done for me and all you will continue to do because I know you're still with me. Thank you Lord for the life of Dennis Loel Jackson and thank you for letting him be MY daddy. I will miss you daddy. You're my hero and I will love you forever.